/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

The Mare Who Once Lived on the Moon

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 247031/the-mare-who-once-lived-on-the-moon

Published: Mar '15Jan '17

Review in No. 38055756
Good story, good Tuna. It's unnecessary to add to the already extensive commentary on this fic.
Review in No. 38803627
I find it easier to talk about what this fic isn't rather than what it is. First of all, it doesn't even try to emulate the show; It's unapologetically steampunk. Pinkie's plot is explicitly an Edison/Telsa reference and there's something in the writing style that's clearly coming from a steampunk source. As another anon pointed out, the fic characters don't really match up to their canon portraits beyond their names and most basic character traits. Twilight may be the only one that's even close to her canon portrayal, but even that feels like I'm pushing it. Put together, the fic doesn't feel like Friendship is Magic at all. Aside from Luna being on the moon and having some dream powers, you could swap out the names and release this as original fiction and I doubt many would detect its origin.

Secondly, it's not a Tuna fic. Yes, Twilight's love for Luna drives the plot, but the vast majority of the word count isn't spent on the actual romance. Even in the epilogue, little is said about it. If there is a theme running through the fic, it's probably Twilight brining about a revolution and improving the lives of those around her as she does it. Does that sound like a romance? No. Does that sound like Friendship is Magic? No. Does that sound like a fic where you'd have an Edison/Tesla plot? Yes! A fic where crippled-at-work orphans join Twilight's engineering project? Yes! A fic where Celestia is a warmonger? Yes! Alcoholic Twilight? Yes!

See what I mean? It's not really FiM or a romance.

I think the fic improved as the it went on. It started as a 6/10 that wasn't bland but held my interest. Later on, I found it easy to just sit and read. Highlights were the court room scene and the orphanage. I think I also liked some of the initial stuff with Applejack but that disappears quickly.