/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

No Foals

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 71763/no-foals

Published: Mar '13

Review in No. 40061449
No Foals is a 9,6k Rainbow Dash is a cunt story. In it, Dash is a cunt.
Joking aside, this is a story about the severe relationship problems between Applejack and Rainbow Dash. You can tell Dash feels trapped and isn't willing to face the problems that arise in the relationship. I actually have friends who think this way, and I'm glad they're single.
I think the story does a good job at showing Rainbow's mindset. I cannot say this for sure, but I feel Dash's parents may have had their fair share of issues in this universe. Her view of things is so warped, but it's warped in a way that feels real. She piles on these excuses and justifications as to why everyone else is the problem. This is how relationships are, after all. Everypony else is pretending.
It's curious to see how she clings onto nuggets of truth to build her delusions. All marriages have problems, so of course marriage is nothing but problems. All couples argue, so it's normal to constantly argue.
If I were to say something negative, there are two things that stood out. First, while the story's focus is obviously on Dash's destructive mindset, it comes off a bit one-sided. Applejack is obviously the more rational and level-headed of the two, but the story never presents any negatives coming from her side. Dash certainly tries to paint it that way, but asking your spouse to help around the house, as well as some support in keeping up the farm, is hardly an unreasonable demand. I would've liked to see some genuine negatives fuel Dash's toxic mentality.
Something else that bothered me is that the story leaves a lot of things implied. Things that should be important. It alludes to a lot of them, but never speaks something concrete. Dash's dreams of being a Wonderbolt, how she wants to leave a lot of things behind. Even the foals issue that gives this story its title. It's barely brought up. Once when Dash is in therapy, and one more time at the end. I like when stories paint a world that exists beyond the confines of a story, but if your title is about having kids, I'd expect the story to actually address that issue in a meaningful way.
And speaking of implying a lot and delivering little, the story ends without Dash acknowledging she's been horrible to Applejack (and their friends. And family. And neighbours. And...), instead just giving a half-hearted acknowledgement that AJ and Dash love each other when it matters. Except that's clearly not enough if things had gotten this bad.
Overall, what the story delivers is good, but it leaves so much unanswered that I can't say I'm satisfied with it.