/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Eldritch Surprises

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 525324/eldritch-surprises

Published: Oct '22

Review in No. 40168299
Eldritch Surprises is a 3,7k word weird drama fic. Pinkie Pie invites Twilight over to Sugar Cube Corner to spend some time together and for Pinkie to teach her how to bake. There are definitely no ulterior motives and Pinkie's definitely not keeping a secret she wants to share.
This story would've been better with a different title. If you just read the synopsis, you may think this is a romance story. If you read the tags, then you may think this is some sort of cupcakes style fic. But when you put "secret", "gore" and "eldritch" together, it's easy to get a mental image of what this story is going to be about.
Nevertheless, the story is quite enjoyable. Pinkie and Twilight feel and react in-character, the pacing isn't too slow nor is it too fast, which was my main worry going in.
What I will say is that this one-shot feels too much like the starting point of a larger story. It's all set up as Pinkie meaning to open up to her friends about her being a shoggoth, but wanted to start with Twilight before she tells the rest of the girls. But the story is just Pinkie telling Twilight. There's a sequel one-shot where they tell Applejack, so I wonder why wasn't this turned into a full story where Pinkie tells the truth to the rest of the girls, there's some drama, and they ultimately learn a lesson about friendship.
A fine read, but it could've been a more interesting story.