/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

The Boy Who Disappeared

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 478807/the-boy-who-disappeared

Published: Oct '20Aug '21

Review in No. 37380282
>In a dream, a dying Chrysalis offers all of her power to Harry. Harry accepts so he can turn into a girl, just like he's wanted ever since Hermione saved him from Dudley and healed him with magic when they were in second grade.
>In a dream, a dying Celestia offers all of her power to Hermione. Hermione accepts so she can use the power to counteract the incurable muscle disorder that would otherwise eventually leave her too weak to move her own body.
>In a dream, a dying Cadance offers all of her power to Ginny. Ginny accepts, and when she wakes up, her imaginary twin sister Ariel has come to life alongside her.
>In a dream, a dying Flurry Heart offers all of her power to Ron. Ron tells her to fuck off - he can take care of his own problems.
>In a dream, a dying Twilight offers all of her power to Draco, which he accepts. She also gives him a pep talk about being treated as nobility, which he was previously quite anxious about, and explains why all the cool horses are fucking dead. Also, Draco casts a ward against the death spell while in the dream, which has the side effect that he wakes up as a girl.

Da Rulez:
>the bad guys' spell is supposed to vaporize the target and banish their soul to another dimension
>someone in that other dimension gets a vision of the target offering all of their power
>if the host refuses the offer within the first two minutes of the vision, then the spell is cancelled and the target comes back to life, unharmed and immune to the spell
>if the host refuses after more than two minutes but less than two hours, then the target dies permanently
>if the host refuses after more than two hours, both the host and the target die
>if the host accepts, then they get all of the target's power, and the target's soul is trapped in that dimension
>the spell is reversed, recreating the target's original body, if the host touches another target who survived the spell

The bad guys attacked during a diplomatic meeting between Chrysalis and literally everyone important. Luna and Shining Armor are encased in crystal, and Celestia, Cadance, Twilight, and Chrysalis got vaporized, leaving a hyper-competent eight-year-old Flurry Heart in charge. Now Silversong, being the only one who knows Da Rulez so far, needs to track down Hailey, Hermione, Ginny, and maybe Ron and Ariel too, so they can all go to Equestria and make contact with Flurry Heart.

How's that for a premise? The author promised "a unique twist in the world of HP/MLP crossovers", and certainly seems to have delivered
Review in No. 39062001
Better known as 'Hailey Potter 3.0'. It's actually the first fic in the lineage to feature Hailey and isn't a rewrite of any Friendship is Magic fics. As with many of the author's fics, it's cancelled. Other than admitting to giving out powers way too quickly, I've seen little of the author's reasons for cancelling it.

It splits scenes between Equestria as ruled by Flurry Heart (the only remaining alicorn) and the Wizarding World, where Harry, Draco, and Hermionie have obtained extreme super powers. The Equestria stuff is honestly kind of funny. For example, Flurry gets very angry with Blueblood so he runs off and becomes a unicorn prodigy. That's the end of my praise for the fic. Everything else that I have to say is negative.

The Harry Potter portions of the fic are shining examples of how not to write a HP fic. It's so pathetic that it's likely to have permanently damaged my faith in this already poor author. In this thread, we've previously discussed how the canon HP world is hostile to fan fiction, largely due to its colossal worldbuilding issues. As a result, HP fics have a tendency conform to such a large set of fanon that they barely resemble canon at all. If it weren't for a handful of scenes being clearly lifted from the books, I'd doubt that the author has ever read canon. What the author does in this fic simply could not happen in canon. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I hope that you enjoy HP curbstomp fics.

So what does the author do? Milk the fanon dry in order to give the HP cast every imaginable power. And when there isn't fanon, the author will just invent shit. Almost every chapter gives them something new. Healing powers? Hermionie's introduction; Super Strength and a burning gentiles? Harry's got it; Money? Everyone inherits a vault and property with it; Status? They're all above the law due to being princesses; Good family life? Petunia can't wait to put Harry in a pretty dress; Legal standing? The records automatically update to show the old cast as basically dead and the new cast as having clean documents and a power level that is the fucking infinity symbol. It's no wonder that the fic is cancelled in the first week of Hogwarts: Canon wouldn't survive them. And I've not even gone all that deeply in to the author's largely original moves, like making Dudley scarred of girls, making Ginny a mother, and putting Hermionie in the same school as Harry.

Overall, I'd say to avoid this fic completely. You might enjoy it in the moment, particularly when powers are being explored (e.g. Hermionie exploring Ravenclaw's house, Dobby reacting to trans!Draco, the law getting fucked by Harry being a princess) or in the Equestria scenes, but the fic is rotten to the core.

Seriously, this is under 3k?